Angel Of Mine
by Satan-wears-prada
Summary: He was her angel. He chnged her life. He made her a better person and now she was losing him.


_When I first saw you I already knew  
There was something inside of you  
Something I thought that I would never find  
Angel of mine_

Addison can remember the day that he arrived in the world. Everyone remembers that day. There isn't a way that they can forget. They will tell him a different story of how he arrived into the world until he is old enough to understand, then he can know the truth, but not yet. For now he will go through the world believing everything is cute and fluffy and that everything is fine…even if it is far from the truth.

Her lips curve into a smile as she thinks about the tiny little being that he had been. His eyes so full of wonder as he gazed about him at all the different people, trying to focus. She could remember every tiny little milestone that he had reached in his short life.

I look at you, lookin' at me  
Now I know why they say the best things are free  
I'm gonna love you boy you are so fine  
Angel of Mine

Addison holds him close to her chest and softly rubs his back while he is oblivious to what is happening around him. She tenderly presses her lips to his forehead and hears a soft murmur escape his lips as his hand reaches for her shirt and grasps hold of it tightly. She knows he needs the comfort of who he looks at to be his mummy. She knows he needs _her_ just as much as she needs him. It's a circle of needing.

How you changed my world you'll never know  
I'm different now, you helped me grow  
You came into my life sent from above  
When I lost all hope you showed me love  
I'm checkin' for ya boy you're right on time  
Angel of Mine

Addison knows how much she has changed in the last nine months. She's become a different person. She's grown up. She's become a 'mummy.' The one person she has always wanted to be but screwed up her chances before. Now, she's holding onto a precious life and doesn't want to ever let go because she knows that her heart will break and she's been through so much heartbreak already she's not sure she would survive this sort of heartbreak. It could push her completely over the edge where there's no way back.

Nothing means more to me than what we share  
No one in this whole world can ever compare  
Last night the way you moved is still on my mind  
Angel of Mine

She never thought that she'd find someone who meant so much to her as he did. He had become her world overnight and every minute of every day she fears she'll lose him. She has worked so hard in her life to get to where she is right now. She's fought so hard. For once in her life she _needs_ things to go her way so she has a reason to live. A reason to wake up and smile.

What you mean to me you'll never know  
Deep inside I need to show  
You came into my life sent from above  
When I lost all hope, you showed me love  
I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time  
Angel of Mine

There're so many things she wants to tell him. So many things she wants to teach him. So many things for them to experience together. So many things she wants to watch him learn and experience. He came into her life and brought her hope. He showed her that she can still live, that she still has a reason to. He helped her see the world from a different view. He causes her to smile and laugh. He makes her happy and she didn't want to unwrap her arms from around his tiny, warm body that is pressed into hers.

I never knew I could feel each moment  
As if it were new,  
Every breath that I take, the love that we make  
I only share it with you  
When I first saw you I already knew  
There was something inside of you  
Something I thought that I would never find  
Angel of Mine

Addison tries to be brave as she watches the scene in front of her. She tries so hard to be the confident, self-assured woman that people believe her to be. Her voice comes out crackly when she talks and she can feel the tears stinging the back of her eyes as her throat becomes tight. She knows that this is the end, she can feel it but she doesn't want to believe it, not yet, she can't. She can't believe the end is here.

You came into my life sent from above  
When I lost all hope you showed me love  
I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time  
Angel of Mine

How you changed my world you'll never know  
I'm different now, you helped me grow

She turns her head and looks down at the little boy who looks back up at her and murmurs again. His eyes are full of trust as he tightens his grasp on her shirt and she can't help but smile softly at him before she kisses his forehead again. She needs him to feel safe and happy as her heart gets ripped into tiny, tiny pieces.

I look at you lookin' at me  
Now I know why they say the best things are free  
I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time  
Angel of Mine

Addison watches as Pete places Lucas into Violet's arms and introduces the little boy to his 'mummy.' She feels her heart break in two as Lucas looks at her in confusion as if to say; but you're my mummy. She bites down on her lip and tries to keep her tears at bay as Violet holds her son close and kisses his cheek like she is the one who does that everyday, like she was the one who held him when he was sick.

Addison knew that it had all been too good to be true; it always was. The one person she had loved more than anything. The one person she had promised she wouldn't screw up. The one person she never wanted to lose and she was losing him right now. There was nothing she could do to stop him being taken from her, her heart being ripped into pieces in the meantime.

All she can do is stand back and watch as the little boy looks at his mother for the first time in his life and slowly begins to accept her.

What she doesn't know is that in years to come, it's her who Lucas turns to. It's her he trusts and looks up to. It's always been her to him.

* * *

A/N: I hate the new sneak peak! How can Shonda do that?! Seriously?! The look on Addison's face as Lucas is taken from her! But he looks at Addsion when he's in Violet's arm as if to say: but you're my mummy. In my books, Addison is his mummy while Violet is just his mother. Urgh. I'm haitng Shonda right now. I had to write this one-shot after watching that sneak peak. Hope you enjoyed.


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